Last night was not good.
It has been a long time since I have felt so down. I felt like a heavy darkness was hanging over me. My mind raced with thoughts:
“What if my circumstances don’t change?”
“What if they get worse?”
I could not stop the tears. Like the rain that was falling outside, my tears were soaking.
At 3:00 AM there isn’t a plethora of people available to talk to. The loneliness slapped me like the rain slapped the window pane.
“God,” I cried, “I KNOW you got this. I KNOW you see and care and love. I know you can heal. Why aren’t you?”
The only response was the rain.
Out of sheer exhaustion I finally fell asleep. Interesting, though, that when I woke up, the rain outside was still falling, but the storm inside my heart was calmed. I still wasn’t healed. In the light of the morning, though, that was okay. In the few hours of sleep I was granted, God ministered to my hurting, lonely soul. He comforted whilst I was unaware of His workings. My faith was strengthened. My determination renewed.
“…weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5b)