“He [the righteous man] is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.” (Psalm 112:7-8)
This week has NOT been one that I would want to do again. It seemed every time I tried to do something, I encountered a force of opposition. I did okay on Monday. Even Tuesday was not completely horrible. By early Wednesday, things were beginning to unravel quickly, and by Thursday? Well, things simply fell apart and I experienced a hard crash and burn.
I did all the things I knew to do. I admit that crying was the first thing I did on each of those days. I cried to God. I begged Him to please intervene. I asked a few close friends to pray for me. I listened to praise and worship music. I tried to distract myself with things to keep me busy. None of these things helped.
I also turned to one of my favorite books of the Bible–Psalms.
This past summer I came up with a reading plan that would have me reading through the books of Psalms, Proverbs, and Romans every month as well as each of the epistles every month. I turned to my scheduled Psalms and began to read. The verses quoted above pierced my heart.
While it may seem strange to consider myself righteous, that is how God sees me. I have given my life to Him and He, in turn, has adopted me as His daughter and sees me not as I am but as He has made me. According to David, then, my heart should be steady; I shouldn’t be afraid; I will look on my adversaries in victory. Now, David had many adversaries. King Saul tried to kill him multiple times, even though his son Jonathan was David’s best friend. His own son, Absolam, turned against him. David knew what adversaries were.
I did not have someone out to take my life or someone chasing me with intent of inflicting pain. But, I thought, I do have adversaries. The most obvious, of course, is satan and his demons. Satan hates me and hates that I have given my life to Christ. I started to realize, though, that fear, depression, discouragement and despair are all my adversaries. Tools of satan to get me to give up on God…to not trust His plans for me. But David said the righteous man is not afraid of bad news. My whole week pretty much consisted of bad news. Could these verses really be encouraging me to not worry? To not be overwhelmed? To not panic?
That’s exactly what these verses were saying and God knew I needed to read them.
Have things been settled? No. And they most likely won’t be for a very long time. But my heart need not fear. My heart needs to trust. My heart needs to remember that God is in control. His plans will always be better than mine and will always work out. His plan is never to harm me.
Why do I forget that so easily?? Why can’t I be better at always trusting? I don’t have the answer to those questions. That in itself is frustrating. I do know that even though I fail God more than I care to mention, He NEVER fails me.
Hang on tight, Lord. The seas are rough right now, and I cannot do this on my own.