2013 in retrospect

Like most people, as the year draws to an end, I find myself looking back at the ups and downs experienced during the previous 365 days. I also contemplate what may be ahead in the coming new year.

It seems 2013 was a year of much loss. Why is it that I tend to remember the lows and losses first? It didn’t take long to hit, though. January 29, I held my furbaby as she left this earth. After 14 years as part of our family, to say this was painful is an understatement. I still miss her very much. I don’t know if animals go to heaven, but if they do, I hope Molly has found my dad’s place. He always loved cats and I know he will love her until I get there.

March brought a diagnosis that made it clear that I would lose part of my health over time. In reality, I thought that loss would be very slow and not very noticeable right away. That has not been the case though. I have had many more bad days than good days this year. I do have much to be thankful for, though, as I still am able to get around when I need to. I know of someone who has a relative younger than me in a nursing home because of her MS symptoms. I count myself blessed that I am not there.

April brought the loss of my little monkey. Her daddy took a promotion which moved them to South Dakota. They are happy there so I am happy for them. Oh, how I miss that little girl and her mommy, daddy and little brother. Visiting them in July and October blessed me so much.

May brought the loss of something that had been a part of my life for 11 years. Our youngest child graduated from high school and I found myself done with homeschooling. In August that same “child” turned eighteen and my years of being legally responsible for an offspring came to a close.

Throughout the year I also lost some people who I once considered good friends. For varying reasons, they decided our friendship was no longer worth their time. Each time I was hurt and wondered how things like that could happen. Regardless of how they happen, they did happen and I lost friends and mentors in the process.

Our community lost a dear soul in July. I grieved with so many who loved this sweet sixteen year old girl. Emma had a promising future–she was a talented photographer and was going to be the editor for the yearbook in her upcoming senior year. On a July afternoon, a collision with a dump truck as she pulled out from a difficult intersection ended those dreams. I watched my daughter struggle with the loss of one who was once a friend. I know God was not surprised when Emma walked through the gates of heaven and I am sure Emma was thrilled to finally meet her Savior. For those left, though, her mom, dad and younger brother, life continues to be full of pain and emptiness. I think of them often and pray for them when I do.

Of course, not all of 2013 was loss.

I gained a future son-in-law. On a night this fall, my older daughter called to tell me her boyfriend had proposed. We are now in wedding planning mode.

In July I was able to go back to my hometown to visit my mom. I don’t get there very often–for reasons that are a combination of financial and personal. My mom had major surgery, though, and I went to help her in recovery. She didn’t need help though! In fact, I was tired out when I returned home from that 5 day trip. I got to see some wonderful people while I was there. I enjoyed visiting with former neighbors and seeing a longtime childhood friend and his wonderful family. I also didn’t see those who are part of the reason I don’t get back there often–and I counted that as a huge blessing!

Also in July I was able to travel with Dave to a wonderful little town in Wisconsin. Our hotel sat right on Lake Superior and I spent hours down by the lake reading and praying while Dave was at the client site. I also was able to travel with him across the state of North Dakota and saw sunflower fields for the first time. I love being able to travel with him.

I gained some new friends this past year. I am very thankful for them and love that many of them understand the stage of life I am in.

I was baptized this fall as well. I was blessed to be baptized by the pastor of our church who patiently answered my questions and e-mails and even met with us at one point to help me sort through the spiritual confusion I was facing. My husband also helped baptize me which meant so much.

So what does 2014 hold? I wish I knew specifics but only God knows those. I do know the following:

–there will be wonderful times spent with family and friends and memories will be made

–there will be difficult times; they are inevitable in the world we live

–most importantly, I KNOW God will be with me whatever may come my way; I can trust Him to always filter things through His hands before allowing them into my life; all will be worked out for His glory regardless of how things may seem in my eyes

I’m not sure how many people actually read my posts, but if you happen to be one who cares about my ramblings and are reading this, I wish you and yours a wonderful new year.  


About becmom45

Wife of one, mom of four, mom-in-law to two, grammy to one precious little boy; lover of snow, autumn, pumpkins, cats, books, baking, Charles Wysocki puzzles, Christmas; honest, raw author who hopes what is written here enlightens and educates those fortunate enough to not understand the demons chronicled.
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