Have you ever had something happen that took your breath away?  Something so intense and unexpected that you literally have to remind yourself to breathe? Something that makes you wish you could stop breathing, or at least hide away somewhere for a time?

That happened to me last night. Out of the blue something happened that shook my world.

As I have gotten older, I have realized just how little control I have over life. I used to not think about those kinds of things. I had a task list of things that each day I would attack, regardless of where those tasks might require me to go or what they may require me to do. Now, though, I have seen terrible things happen to wonderful people who never saw anything coming. Loss and sadness permeate the headlines both locally and globally. Just in the past year:

* a local teenager got in a car to go somewhere and didn’t make it to her destination

* a young man with so much life ahead of him was struck by a car and killed while out jogging–something he did everyday

* hundreds have been killed in an uprising overseas

* tornadoes ripped through several areas, including an elementary school where children were killed

* cancer took the life of several young kids I have followed on Caring Bridge

This is not even a tiny tip of the iceberg of pain that has been experienced in this world this past year. With the exception of the young people who died of cancer, none of the families affected could have known what awaited them as the calendar page turned to 2013 just over a year ago. I am left wondering what the pages of 2014 may hold.

If yesterday is any indication of things to come, I would be content to not have to experience the days. Would my presence be missed? Last night I really thought the answer to that was “No”. Today, my head is slightly clearer and I know the answer to that question would be “Yes”.

I just need to remind myself to breathe.

I also need to remember that while I have very little control, I know WHO does have control.

And I need to remember that God can work all things for good.

About becmom45

Wife of one, mom of four, mom-in-law to two, grammy to one precious little boy; lover of snow, autumn, pumpkins, cats, books, baking, Charles Wysocki puzzles, Christmas; honest, raw author who hopes what is written here enlightens and educates those fortunate enough to not understand the demons chronicled.
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