I woke up this morning not feeling very well. I struggled to drag myself out of bed. This is actually a common occurrence for me, but this morning I was blindsided by an additional factor thrown in the mix–one I hadn’t really dealt with much in the past. This morning, in addition to the absolute exhaustion, the uncomfortable pain, and the room spinning dizziness, I also found that guilt had come knocking and my head had opened the door and allowed it right in. You see, I knew my husband had left for work long before my eyes opened for the day. I knew he left before the sun was even out as he made the long commute to where he needed to be this week. I knew he did this without complaint and as quietly as he could so as to not disturb me. His morning started very early and I know all the animals were waiting to be fed as soon as they heard his footsteps. He faces the same onslaught every morning–two cats under his feet, impatiently wanting their food and a dog whining downstairs who wants to be let up. put outside and fed. He does all this, showers, gets ready for work, makes his cup of coffee, and grabs his work bag to head out the door all before 5:30 or 6:00 AM. Oh, and most every morning, he makes the time to do the few dishes in the sink from the night before. The guilt this morning took me somewhat by surprise, but it was valid in my mind. How could I sleep until 8:00 and make him do all those things when he is the one working to provide each day? In all honesty, I felt quite lazy, worthless, and unworthy of his love and care for me.
As you can probably tell, it wasn’t the greatest start to my day. As I went through my own morning routine, the whole time wondering to myself why I even bothered to get out of bed at all, I came to the point in my morning where I sat at the table with my Bible and my BSF lesson for the week. My mind was not really focusing–part distraction and part MS brain fog. I read through the notes given at last night’s meeting, highlighting those sentences that spoke to my heart. I finished the first day questions and debated what would be next on my “nonexistent but much needed” to-do list. I grabbed my laptop and powered it up. Resisting the urge to go on Facebook and waste time there, I instead remembered that I hadn’t been to my friend’s blog in some time. I typed in the web address and started reading. What was there, as usual, hit my heart like a dagger.
My friend’s name is Dennis. He writes passionately about the times we live in and how they fit in with the prophecies of the Bible. Dennis firmly believes, as I do, that we are living in what Jesus calls the “end times”. Jesus gave us signs to watch for so we would know when the hour of His coming would be close. No one knows for sure when His return will be, but we can look around and watch and, if we are in tune with God’s Word, we should be able to tell when things are happening that point to the imminent return of Jesus. The first few entries I read had me glued to my computer screen. I will not re-write them here, but I encourage you, if you are interested in why the world seems to be going to hell right now, to go check out his blog. You will find him at http://www.thetrumpetblows.blogspot.com.
As I pondered the condition of our world and the suffering that is taking place around the globe due to issues such as Ebola, enterovirus, ISIS, Syria, abortion and a host of other subjects touched on in the first page of Dennis’ blog, I began to scold myself for complaining about the things in my life that I find annoying. Yes, getting out of bed in the morning is often difficult for me; however, I live in a country where I am privileged enough to sleep in a nice bed with sheets and pillows, all contained within a structure that I call home which has windows and locked doors and heat and air conditioning and electric and all the other things I take for granted. I grabbed my Bible and Bible study notes without fear of someone seeing me with the Scriptures and reporting me to authorities. I didn’t have to sneak downstairs below ground to pray. My friend’s blog was not blocked by the government because it contained spiritual material. My freedoms, at least for now, are secure.
That led me to another thought.
How much longer will this be the case? Jesus said in this world we will have trouble. Jesus was persecuted. His disciples in the first century were persecuted. Christians throughout history have been persecuted. Even today, Christians are being killed for their faith in many areas of our globe. How much longer until this kind of persecution comes to America? Reading Dennis’ article about fearing Muslims made it apparent that it is not far off. (Please take the time to go and read his article. He is not saying that we SHOULD fear Muslims–he is quoting what Muslim extremists have said about themselves)
I know there are people who disregard end times writings. They believe we should not be focusing on the gloom and doom of what is to come. I actually agree that this should not be our focus. I don’t, however, believe we can disregard these things as unimportant. The book of Jude says that we are to “snatch others from the fire and save them”. If you were driving down a street and saw a house on fire, wouldn’t you want to make sure no one was inside and in danger? Wouldn’t you want to be certain that no children were hiding under the bed, scared to come out because of the flames? Wouldn’t you call the fire department and maybe even bang on the doors and windows to make sure no one was stuck inside? Most human beings would do that for anyone–even more so if the house belongs to a family they know and love. To ignore the “flames” that are starting to rise around us–and will grow larger as the day of the Lord draws closer–is unloving. It shows that we only care about ourselves. Is it always easy to go against what society says? No. To say that homosexuality is a sin is not politically correct anymore. The fact that it isn’t politically correct, though, doesn’t negate the fact that it is true. People may call you intolerant. They are so blinded by their own sin that they do not see that they themselves are the intolerant ones, for they only practice tolerance when they are in agreement with the issue. We cannot be tolerant of sin–we can be tolerant of people. And there is a difference. Jesus was a friend of sinners, but He called out their sin.
I feel like my thoughts are all over the place today. Being a perfectionist, it is important to me that my thoughts are cohesive and coherent when written. This post doesn’t feel that way to me. In fact, in the course of writing this, I have debated several times just deleting it. I won’t though. I will hit publish and put it out there, mainly because one of the reasons I write is to help myself process my own thoughts. There are many thoughts swirling through my mind today. If getting even a few out helps to clear up the fog, then it is worth it to me to do so.