There hasn’t been much sunshine in my world as of late.
No surprise if you’ve read anything I’ve written in the last few months.
The dark clouds have been gathered for a while and they have been pouring down rain and even hail for quite a while now. The thunder has rolled and the lightning has struck without relent. The winds have blown with strength so great that I have felt for sure I would certainly be swept away by their force.
Normal people like sunshine. I’ve never considered myself to be normal. Most who know me agree with that. I love winter and bitter cold while most people like summer and warmth. I like clouds and rain while most people like sunshine and blue skies.
I have always been different and because of that, have had a hard time fitting in.
I don’t even like songs about sunshine.
Except for one. There is one sunshine song that, up until now, always brought a smile to my face. The reason for that has been because this particular song always brought a smile to the face of my little grandson. From the time he could smile at me, he has loved the song You are my Sunshine. You’ve probably heard it:
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know just how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
He loved that song and whenever he would need to be rocked to sleep, I would softly sing him those words.
Right now, those words are like swords going into my heart and coming out my back.
He has been the only ray of sunshine I have had in some very long, dark, days.
But my sunshine is moving away.
My heart, stabbed by the intense pain of what will happen in two days, is broken and bleeding.
I’ve said it before…this is just too much.
“Please don’t take my sunshine away…”
I can’t stop it.
And I don’t think I will be able to come out the other side of losing my only sunshine.